My motorcycle is my boyfriend.

Or girlfriend if you're one those sexist bastards that believe all forms of transportation are female. (Even though I admit I've referred to the bike as "her" a time or two. Shh) I've got a little over a month before I can ride legally, but I'm getting better! I can actually take off without nearly being thrown off! Lovely.

Again, midnight shift a bitch. And subsequently not my boyfriend. It's pretty terrible to have to be awake during those hours when your body knows it's supposed to be sleeping. It probably doesn't help that we take turns "meditating" because everyone knows that catching a cap nap makes things a jillion times worse. But such is the life I lead.

While my motorcycle is MY boyfriend, Howie Mandel is my mom's boyfriend. Or so she wishes. Even when he's all bald and stuff. Gross.